I’ve always thought the idea of adult themes presented in a children’s book format was amusing. These are some awful little tidbits that I’ve written here and there over the years. Most are pretty bad, but there are some gems. I present to you Terrible Short Stories for Children

The Little Boy with too Much to Do.

Adam had too much to do! He couldn’t finish everything so he flung himself from a cliff.

The Little lost Girl

Gretchen was lost in the mall. She had wandered away from her mother. She cried and cried until a nice man said, “Come with me, I’ll drive you home to your house.” Gretchen went with the man and no one ever saw her again.

The Bad Little Dog

Pepper was a bad little dog. He would not sit, he would not roll over and he begged at the dinner table. “I will take Pepper on a trip, and when we come back he will be a good dog.” Later, Father came home but no one saw Pepper. The next night at dinner Father said, “Will someone please pass me Pepper?”

The Bird who Could Not Fly.

Little Bobbie Robin sat in his nest. He could not fly. He decided he must learn, so he hopped out of his nest and jumped. Little Bobbie Robin could not fly.

The Seed that could not Grow

Once there was a little seed. A bird ate it and pooped it out on some rocks. It could not grow.

The Fat Little Cow

There was a farmer who had a fat little cow. Each day he went to see the cow and told her how beautiful she was. He said, “You are the fattest most beautiful cow there ever was!” The cow felt very good and ate as much as she could so she would become even fatter for the farmer. Soon the little cow was so fat she could not walk. The Farmer said, “You are the most amazing cow I have ever seen!” The cow was very happy. Until the Farmer killed and ate her.

The Bad Teacher

Barney’s teacher was bad. She made Barney learn to add and subtract, divide and multiply. She made Barney learn the alphabet and she forced him to read and write. Barney grew up and became a successful business man. When he was rich enough he hired high powered lawyers to sue his bad teacher for ruining his life.

The Little Fish

There lived a little fish in a little pond. He had just learned to swim. One day he was caught by a hook. A boy-scout pulled him from his warm home and danced about gleefully. The boy-scouts ate the little fish.

The Race

Paul ran as hard as he could. He finished last. His father came over to him and said, “It is okay that you did not win. Your brothers are better than you and they will win.”

Three Wishes

Bob found a magic lamp while he was on vacation. The Genie inside said I will give you three wishes. Bob said, “I wish I knew what to wish for! And I wish I was home so I could show my friends. No, I wish I hadn’t wished that.” The Genie slapped Bob.

The Boy Who Cried Turtle

The Wade Family went to the Beach. “Turtle!” said little Timmy Wade. No one looked because Timmy saw Turtles everywhere. The Turtle climbed out of the sea and ate Timmy.

Healthy

Mr. Riggs worked out every day. He ran five miles, he lifted weights for hours and he swam and swam. He only ate healthy foods- never anything he liked. He never had time for anything fun. But he always said, “I’m taking care of myself now so I can enjoy my family when I’m old!” The doctor said Mr. Riggs was in perfect health. A truck hitMr.Riggs and he died.

Ice Cream

Mommy brought home ice cream for dessert. She said if we ate all our vegetables we could have some. Dad ate ice cream before he ate his vegetables. Dad said, “When you are a Dad you can eat what you want.” When I am a Dad I will eat kittens and  bunnies.

Baby Lewis Learns to Talk

Baby Lewis was learning to talk. “Come on! You can do it” said Mommy. “Come on! You can do it!” said Daddy. They practiced long and hard, every day for months. Baby Lewis learned how to talk! “Quiet!” said Mommy. “Shhhh!!” said Daddy.

The Bike Story

John had a brand new bike. He had worked hard and saved his money for two years to buy it. Each day he washed and waxed his new bike. He rode it around the neighborhood each afternoon. Every night John carefully put his bike under the porch and locked it to a post. John’s bike was his favorite thing in the whole world. One day John was hungry and he traded his bike for a cookie.

The Lonely Tree

Billy was an oak tree. He was all alone. One day a forest elf said he could have a wish. Billy clapped his branches together. “I wish for a friend!” The forest elf said he would grant the wish. The next day a man came into the woods and walked up to Billy. “I am your friend!” he said. He took out his ax and chopped Billy down.

Best Friends

Pete and Joe were best friends. Where Pete went Joe went. Where Joe went Pete went. They played tag, hide and seek, they ran and laughed. Later that day Pete found a new best friend named Dave.

The Lamp Lie

Lucy was scared. She had broken her mom’s favorite lamp. When mommy saw the lamp she was very sad. Mommy asked Lucy, “Do you know who broke my lamp?” Lucy shook her head. She felt bad inside. When Daddy came home he said, “Do you know who broke mommy’s lamp?” Lucy shook her head. She felt bad inside again. Lucy lied more and more and eventually the bad feeling went away

Mark’s Teeth

Mark would not brush his teeth. His mom told him they would rot and turn green. Mark would not brush his teeth. His Dad told him they would smell bad and turn yellow. Mark would not brush his teeth. His Brother told him they would get cavities and turn gray. . Mark would not brush his teeth. His sister said they would decay and turn brown.. Mark would not brush his teeth. And nothing anyone said came true. Mark’s teeth turned black and fell out.

The Newspaper

Mr. Fuller was not happy. Each day his newspaper was thrown into his grass. Mr. Fuller stopped the paper boy and yelled at him. He told the paperboy to stop throwing the newspaper in the grass. Mr. Fuller was not happy. Each day the newspaper was thrown through his window.

 Marvin’s TV

Marvin liked to watch TV. And the TV liked to watch Marvin. One day Marvin went to turn the TV off and the TV turned Marvin off.